I believe one of the most difficult tasks we face on our personal growth path is dealing with our own self-importance and ego. I think most of us would agree that it’s important to honor our heart and inner guidance rather than our thinking mind – especially since our mind can harbor fear-based beliefs that limit our expression in this life. Most folks find it can be pretty challenging to listen to that feisty internal dialogue all day long without believing that’s who we are.
It’s takes a bit of experience and practice to be able to detach from our mind – with the ultimate understanding that the voices in our head are simply a repository of information and points of view rather than the ultimate truth of who we really are and can be.
But I’ve found a nifty way to deal with our ego and that’s to engage a petty tyrant in your life!
At this point you’re probably saying what the heck is she talking about! So hang in there with me and let me explain. Basically, a petty tyrant is someone who has the ability to irritate us and annoy us to distraction. An example of this is someone who you must interact with in your life – like your spouse’s business partner, an in-law, your father, or a client. Now, you could allow them to annoy you – or you could get over yourself, stop judging that person and trying to make them wrong – and just accept them and even love them, just the way they are!
It’s a tall order isn’t it to think that you might actually use someone who drives you crazy to further yourself on your spiritual path – right? But look at it this way – everything life puts on your path is there to help you become a better, more enlightened and happy person – IF you chose to see it that way!
Simply put, petty tyrants torment us.
They’re difficult people who often end up in positions of power where they can abuse others – often because they were abused themselves. They have an uncanny way of stepping on our wounds and getting us really pissed off.
If we have the opportunity to argue with a petty tyrant we’ll argue with them – it’s so tempting to get our ego riled up and want to be right with these kinds of people. However – you can try to be right or you can decide to be happy. I know you know what I’m talking about here!
The great thing about petty tyrants is that they reflect to us the beliefs we hold that imprison us and cause us to lose our personal power rather than being at peace.
So here’s the deal – you can take these people personally and allow them to get you upset or you can find another way. A truly aware person knows that the petty tyrant is not her problem – what she thinks and believes about the petty tyrant is her problem. She uses the situation to examine her thoughts and emotional reactions and rather than projecting her anger outward. She realizes it’s more productive to use her energy to change HER inner world than to try to change everyone else.
To be clear, I am not suggesting you stay in a situation that’s abusive – absolutely not, I’m saying to learn to use the difficult situations and people in your life to get over yourself. So please don’t use what I’m sharing to justify remaining in an abusive situation that you’re too afraid to get yourself out of. That’s not self-respect.
Ultimately, the more we continue to hone our connection with source (whatever that is for you), the more we see the insanity of our need to control others. Instead we focus on dealing with our own mind and limiting thoughts, which is our main responsibility. In doing so we change the world because we’ve changed ourselves.
So I encourage you to have fun with your petty tyrants and see if you can observe yourself without judgment in your interactions with them. You might be surprised at what you learn! I’m so anxious to hear what you have to share about the petty tyrants in your life – don’t forget to post below and let me know what you do to deal with them!
To your success,
Thanks alot!
Surely it is all about keeping our minds away from those tyrants and trying to avoid them without creating new problems.
Is it possible you have read the Carlos Castaneda series from the 60’s And 70’s?? The teachings of his mentor in those books are remarkably similar to what you are saying in this article! Especially the use of the term “petty tyrant””.
Dear Bob,
I studied with don Miguel Ruiz for 8 years and yes I have read all the Castaneda books as well as have written a few of my own. 🙂
Blessings, Sheri